Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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