life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
