I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
