DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
