Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just tell him i said nine months
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
