Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize