Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
