I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We got so high we made milksteak
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize