I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
