I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
