remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
