TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
