The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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