I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
