Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
