I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
