I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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