Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
