Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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