I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you win again, gameday.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
