he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
