Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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