My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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