I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
