...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
