VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Floor bacon is actually really good
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
