I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
