If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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