thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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