I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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