just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
