so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize