i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
