I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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