i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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