ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
