he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
