Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
