He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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