College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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