real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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