I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
