Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
