i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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