i don't like sucking hair
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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