So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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