Sry I called you an 8
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
