The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
