I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
