if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
