I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's blow job season.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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