he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
