Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
