Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just cut my nipple shaving
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
