he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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