He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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