Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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