ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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