i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
do nipples grow back?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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