after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Mom said you looked used
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
