Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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