all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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