Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
