I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
