I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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