i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize