didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
