Can i not drive my cunt home
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
