Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
