my mouth tastes like poor choices
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I need water and some morals
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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