You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Is Oprah even human
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
