But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
