Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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