idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize