Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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