I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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