I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
